I’ll start this writing advice essay by pointing out that giving writing advice is an iffy proposition. What works for one person might be useless or even detrimental for another, and what works for someone at one point in their life might not work for them at another time. Thus, the best general rule for writing advice is to try different things and see what works for you. And as the giver of advice, all I can do is share what’s worked for me and hope it might work for somebody else.
In this case, my advice has to do with not giving up on your writing, or more specifically, to not give up on yourself as a writer, even when life is a lot, or too much.
One of the most basic requirements for being a writer is finding time to write. This can be a challenge even under regular circumstances when you might have to carve out time in between family and day jobs and the everyday chores of life, but there are situations where finding that time, that space where you can sit down and write, can be near impossible. I’m specifically thinking about situations when your life is unpredictable, where establishing a daily routine is a severe challenge, and when your ability to find time for writing is curtailed by circumstances beyond your control. Maybe you’re a caregiver caring for an elderly parent. Maybe you’re caring for a family member with physical or mental health issues. Maybe you’re a new parent. Maybe you’re dealing with health issues of your own that take up most of your waking hours.
These are situations apart when your time, and your brain, are not always your own, where you spend a lot, or all, of your days handling situations that cannot be put off until later, that you must deal with immediately as they happen, that cannot be scheduled. This can be extremely stressful and exhausting because you’re constantly in a kind of emergency standby or survival mode, dealing with small and big crises, and managing situations that have to be handled immediately because they will otherwise turn into literal emergencies.
I’ve lived through a few periods like this. I am still swimming in the wake of such a period. And I do have some advice that has helped me get (most of the way) through it.
It’s OK to take a break, it’s OK to rest.
This is the number one thing. Sometimes you need to take a break from writing, because you simply do not have the time or the energy or the mental or physical capacity to write. And that’s OK. When all your energy is spent keeping your life on track, caring for someone (or yourself) who needs your presence, physical and mental, throughout the day, when you’re in survival mode – rest is necessary. The main point here is to not beat yourself up over not writing. I know from painful personal experience that if you start to feel ashamed of the fact that you are not “productive”, or ashamed that you’re not able to write every day like a “real writer”, it can lead drag you down in a spiral of shame and despair that does you no good and which can (worst case scenario) cause the kind of writer’s block that lasts for months or years.
When you can’t write, read.
Reading is a good thing in so many ways, and even when life is a lot or too much, it can provide both solace and inspiration. Read, even if it’s just one chapter or one page a day. Read something new. Read something old. Read something short. Read something massive. Read short fiction, poetry, non-fiction, novels, comic books, anthologies, short story collections, graphic novels, listen to audiobooks, fiction podcasts, whatever appeals to you. Comfort reads, i.e. returning to familiar books you already love, can help keep you steady when life gets rough. I don’t even know how many times I’ve read Le Guin’s Earthsea books, Eco’s Foucault’s Pendulum, LeCarré’s Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, or Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey. Those are some of my comfort reads, the books I kept coming back to when life was too much and I needed the familiarity and comfort of those stories. One note though: while I think comfort reads are great, I would still suggest reading something new every now and then because there is so much great fiction being published all the time. Reading something new means you might just find new things to love, and new things that nourish and inspire your own craft.
Read books about writing
Books about writing can keep you connected to your craft even when you can’t write as much as you would like. Two of my favorites in this genre are Ursula K. Le Guin’s Steering the Craft and Stephen King’s On Writing. There are also many essays online and various newsletters dedicated to the craft of writing that can be helpful. For example, a friend recently recommended Saeed Jones’s newsletter, Werk-In-Progress to me and it’s full of writing advice and inspiration. Look around. Find something, someone, who has the right vibe for you, because it can be a real help when things are tough and you’re feeling disconnected from your craft.
Pick a writing project that works for you
The main thing is to pick a writing project that feels manageable. That means different things to different people. Write micro fiction, flash, a poem, a journal entry. Or maybe what works for you is putting in some words on a larger project, like a novella or a novel, whenever you can. The key is to pick something that allows you to work and create without feeling overwhelmed.
Another thing that can work is to lower your expectations on everything except the act of writing itself. What you write and how much you write is secondary. Getting published or submitting stories is also secondary; it’s the act of writing that matters. The trick is to not overwhelm yourself because if you feel overwhelmed when your whole life is already pretty overwhelming, you might give up before you even start.
Write something different
Sometimes, when writing feels overwhelming and impossible, it can help to try writing something you haven’t tried before. Try writing non-fiction, a personal essay, a letter or postcard to someone you know. Try your hand at creative non-fiction. Doing something new can sometimes make a project feel more doable, and you might just find that it’s something you enjoy doing.
Find a way to keep yourself motivated
Finding the time to write when your life is a lot or too much is sometimes hard and sometimes impossible. Finding the motivation to write can be tough too under those circumstances. Like I mentioned at the beginning, sometimes you need a break from writing and that’s OK. But if you want to write and need a way to stay motivated, there are things you can try. There is no one-size fits all solution, but some strategies that have worked for me at different times in my life are: tracking my word count, writing to story prompts and themed submission calls (even if I don’t end up submitting or finishing my story in time), and writing at a set time of day (even if that time is the 15 or 20 minutes before I collapse into bed).
Whatever helps you, whatever works, that’s what you stick with. For some people, it works to meet up with writing friends, online or in person. For others, wordcount trackers work best. For some, like me, the main motivation beneath and beyond all these strategies is that I once stopped writing and that was something that made me miserable in the long term. Some days, that’s the thing that pulls me through the rough spots.
